Uchiha Sasuke
by Kaze no Shoujo
Summary: It's always after you lose it that you realize how much you needed it. SasuSaku


**A/N:** Hey guys! Here's a LONG oneshot I've got in store for so long. I've always thought there was something wrong with the grammar, but oh well.==;

People waiting on "Love Can Change Everyone", the update's coming soon. The lack of reviews deflated my enthusiasm in writing, but I can't really blame anyone but myself. I should have kept to my words even more and updated quicker. I'm sorry guys, really.

So here's a oneshot to make up for it. It's not exactly a happily ever after, but still works, right? xP

It's kind of like a recap of how Sasuke's life was ever since he came back to Konoha. I hope that was understandable?

**Disclaimer:** You know the drill.

* * *

_**Uchiha Sasuke**_

- Dark, Intelligent, Strong, Handsome.

- One of the best ninjas of Konoha. Once betrayed his village. Trained under Orochimaru. Once was a member of Akatsuki.

- An avenger. A professional in hiding his emotions. Always guarded. Always masked.

- One who's heart is frozen. Doesn't remember how it is to love. Refuses to love again. Denies having people who loves him. Rejects all those who ever cared.

A pitiful jerk who's thrown away all the potentials of having a good and happy life.

* * *

**Sasuke's POV**

It's been approximately 8 years…

Since I returned to Konoha after quitting Akatsuki and having the dobe knock some sense into me.

Yes, ironic.

It's been 7 years since I was out of jail and Team 7 was restored, with the exception of Sai adding up.

It's been 6 years since Konoha fully accepted me once again.

But with the exception of one person.

**Haruno Sakura.**

She had been kind; one of the firsts who bid me, "Welcome home".

But I knew better.

That I wasn't really welcomed to her.

She smiled and laughed, spoke to me and treated me with great care.

But I clearly felt the distance she placed between us.

And I knew, but refused to care.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke and I refuse to acknowledge the fact that she was someone to me.

* * *

It's been 5 years since Naruto finally became the hokage he was meant to become, and since the dobe married his one and only Hinata.

It was a grand wedding, mostly everyone in Konoha having been invited and all of them having been attending.

Sakura was there as Hinata's bridesmaid. She was beautiful, nearly taking the spotlight away from the bride herself.

I never told her though, because I was Uchiha Sasuke and it wasn't in my being to do so.

* * *

It's been 4 years since I felt the distance between us shrink.

She started calling me 'Sasuke-kun' again, and her smiles and laughs felt a bit more genuine.

I was happy, though it didn't show.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke and I didn't rejoice...especially about something as simple as that.

Admitting it was not even thinkable.

* * *

It's been 3 years since that fateful night.

When the dobe called the ninjas to party all night.

It was after having killed all the Akatsuki members, terminating the last biggest threats to the fire country.

Everyone was too relieved and jolly to count the drinks they've taken.

Sakura had way too much in my opinion, though Naruto insisted that it was just fine because she was Tsunade's apprentice, and that granny drinks a lot.

I had a little too much myself, being a bit tipsy.

The ladies went home earlier, except Tsunade, Tenten, and Sakura. I would've left early too, but the idiot wouldn't let me.

In the end, everyone was wasted. I was going to use the last grasp I had over my body and brain to go home, but I couldn't just leave Sakura alone with a crowd of drunken men.

So I did what I was supposed to do: bring her home.

But I totally forgot that I was a drunken young man as well, and that she was a drunken pretty woman.

Needless to say, things happened.

The next morning, I woke up with a heavy hangover, and to the realization of being in her bed.

In her bed, lying naked beside her equally naked body.

And since I was Uchiha Sasuke, I didn't stay around to wait for her to wake up.

I got up, got dressed, and―though I hesitated for a second―wrote her a note before leaving.

'Sorry.

―Sasuke'

I was a cold-hearted bastard, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew she would figure out sooner or later that something was off, so I might as well tell her I was connected.

And that it was only an accident.

She was smart.

She figured it out, if her avoiding of me is any sign of it.

* * *

It's been 2 years and a half since she came to me one night, after successfully but not-so-brightly avoiding each other since that specific incident.

It was raining when I opened the door to see her soaking from head to toe.

I was surprised to see her, and worried at her gloomy aura.

But I didn't show it, because I was Uchiha Sasuke.

She looked at me with those teary emerald orbs, before opening her mouth to let the world crumble down on us.

"I'm pregnant."

...

It's been 2 and a half years since I replied to her confession with a brief and cold, "So?"

She looked at me disbelievingly before her hand flew to slap me on the face. It hit me with a smack, successfully turning my face to the other side.

She was angry and hurt. I knew it.

And I flamed it further more by telling her I didn't care and that I didn't want her child so she might as well abort it.

Her hand flew up to hit me with a stronger force, and I let it, because somewhere in me, I knew I deserved it.

She cried angry tears and spat out nasty, poisonous words.

I accepted them all in and finished our conversation by smirking,

"You're so annoying, Sakura."

And she slapped me again even harder, before running away in the cold rain.

And I stayed outside as well, welcoming the cold, hoping it could freeze the red, hot anger I felt.

Because I said all those and did all those for being Uchiha Sasuke.

Because in reality, I wanted to tell her it was going to be okay. That I'd marry her. Take care of her and the child.

That I'd make her happy.

But I just did the opposite.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I didn't deserve her.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I couldn't love anyone anymore.

* * *

It's been a year and 9 months since she gave birth to him.

Yes, it was a boy. A son.

And yes, she kept it.

I didn't see the baby, because Sakura didn't want me to. Naruto forbade it as well, not as a best friend, but as the hokage himself.

He was really mad about what I did, and I know that until this very day, he hasn't forgiven me yet. He still talks to me though, and very seldom takes me out for ramen.

As for Sakura...

I didn't see much of her after that night. We hadn't spoken at all too.

The only reason I knew about her giving birth was by the villagers talking all over the place.

"Haruno Sakura gave birth to a baby boy!"

"I wonder who the father is?"

No one else knew. Only Team 7 did, and all of them resented me for it.

I couldn't blame them.

There were rumors that spread as soon as Sakura's pregnancy showed, and there were some who called her names such as "slut" or "whore".

Sakura ignored them. Tsunade and the Rookie 12, despite not knowing anything, countered a lot of them. Tsunade, Kakashi, and Sai brought a lot of them to the hospital. Ino got in a lot of catfights on the streets. Her boyfriend, Shikamaru, who usually pulled her away from those, did nothing to stop her. Instead, he kicked the crap out of the guys who dared agree with the counterpart. Lee, Neji, Chouji, and Shino did the same too. Tenten used her weapons on those she encountered, while Kiba and his dog bit a lot.

I hated the rumors. I wanted to beat the hell out of all of them, not caring if I burned the village and depopulated the people.

But I didn't.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

It's been 9 months since I first saw the child. Sakura held a grand celebration for _her_ son's first birthday, and a lot were invited.

By then the rumors had died down. Naruto finally had enough and announced, soon after Sakura gave birth, that from then on, people who spoke ill of Sakura would be punished.

They immediately stopped.

On the child's first birthday, I was not invited. It was typical; expected.

But Sakura couldn't hide the child from me forever, though she succeeded for a year.

On that day, Sakura took the child out to buy him a gift before his party.

I was on my way to the training grounds then, and I saw them.

Though still tiny and in his mother's arms, he looked quite like me. His hair was dark, and his features were sharp, but his eyes...beautiful emerald orbs...were his mother's.

The baby spotted me before Sakura did, and smiled at me, waving his tiny hand.

I wondered then if he knew I was his father. I wondered then if he felt a connection between us like I did.

But I didn't have time to contemplate on it.

Because Sakura noticed me.

Our eyes met briefly for the first time in 2 years.

But her gaze immediately left mine, when a man's voice called her name. Without so much as another glance, she started walking away.

The little boy straightened his arm at me, opening and closing his hands as if reaching for me, even when his mother walked farther off.

And I was thankful that Sakura wasn't looking, because at that moment, I knew that the mask I've had for so long cracked.

* * *

It's been 4 months since I have ever been invited to anything connected to Sakura.

The occassion?

Her wedding.

It could've been her way of revenge on me.

But if she thought seeing her walk down the aisle just to see her hold someone else's arm when reaching the front would hurt me, then she thought wrong.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I didn't care about her.

...

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I shouldn't care about her.

...

But I did.

And reality slammed right through my face at that exact moment.

That moment when I saw her in a white, elegant wedding dress, walking down the aisle. My eyes followed her down that red carpet, hardening the minute they laid on the man, Riku, who took her hand in his.

And my heart felt like it was being ripped out of me when the wedding started.

I wanted to stop the ceremony. Yell out loud at the guy when he said the words, "I do".

I wanted to cry when she returned the same words.

I wanted to take her away when they kissed.

I wanted to beat the guy when the priest announced them man and wife.

I wanted to disappear when that little boy,

Her son.

My son.

_Our_ son stumbled his way to them.

Because I've finally accepted the fact that I couldn't deny this one truth.

That I loved her.

Haruno Sakura.

I loved that annoying woman, and have loved her for a long time now.

And I wanted to be with her. To raise our child together. To be the one that kid acknowledges as his father.

To live a life with these 2 people I loved the most.

But I can't.

Not anymore.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke..

and I was too late.

* * *

Now, I'm sitting here in Kakashi's house, celebrating his birthday with the other people.

And she's there.

With him.

And our son.

Shohei.

That was the name of our son.

He grew taller in these few months, and he only looked even more like me. And Sakura.

I knew that by now, majority of the people had the suspicion of Sho being my child.

But they were not allowed to speak it out loud or spread the question. Naruto counted it in under the label, "Speaking ill of Sakura."

I didn't know if I was supposed to be happy or not.

Because as of now, Shohei was known as that guy's son.

And I was aware that Riku knew the truth. I was sure Sakura won't keep the truth from him, and possibly destroy their relationship. I stand proven when he first stared at me months before, as if affirming, checking.

And as much as I hate to admit it..

He's a good man.

For one, he didn't try to start a fight with me despite knowing I impregnated Sakura, his wife, and didn't care about her.

Two, he didn't stop loving her despite knowing she carried a baby of some other man.

I heard from Naruto that he came around when Sakura was 2 months pregnant.

He was a transferred doctor from mist, and one that Tsunade assigned to take care of Sakura.

He stayed with her since then, taking care of her day by day. He took her in, even when others would refer to Sakura as 'wasted'.

I've seen the three of them a lot of times after the wedding, and they only looked like one thing:

A true family.

Riku accepted Sakura as well as Sho with open arms. He treated my son as his, seemingly not having any resentment. He held my son, despite the close resemblance between us that was starting to show.

He's a good man.

And now, I'm watching my son in his arms, the two of them playing and laughing.

My heart―the heart I believed would always be frozen―constricted in pain.

As if that wasn't enough, Sakura joined the picture, taking Sho in her arms, successfully making him giggle. Riku smiled at the two of them before pulling Sakura close and placing a soft kiss on both his wife's and his son's forehead.

Yes, they were his.

I knew that.

The pain in my heart doubled, my hands on the armrest clenching.

Sakura was Riku's wife.

And Sho was his son, even if not by blood.

All because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I threw away all the potentials to a happy life.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke, and I let my pride get the best of me all the time.

I was Uchiha Sasuke.

Stupid. Bastard. Hopeless. Jerk. Idiot.

I was Uchiha Sasuke and I was the one who refused this sweet offer of life.

To live with a beautiful and loving woman for the rest of my life.

To raise up adorable and strong children.

To build the family I didn't have. The family I lost.

I refused it all,

and now I'm suffering.

Because I really wanted all of it.

Because I really loved her and our son.

...

My gaze stayed only on them.

Sho had fallen asleep in Sakura's arms, the sight of the two of them so angelic.

My eyes flickered down to my son's peaceful face, before flickering up just to meet with those beautiful emerald orbs.

Sakura was looking at me, our eyes meeting after so long.

Emotions were swirling in them.

Anger.

Resent.

Sadness..

Pity..

I tore my gaze away, just as Riku gently placed a hand on her back, indicating their exit.

I kept my head turned to the side as they walked through the door, only hearing her distant voice bidding Kakashi 'Happy Birthday' once again.

And then,

"Goodbye."

The door closed after them, and I slumped down on the couch I've been sitting on.

I kept my head low as the people around me chattered away.

I was glad Riku chose that time to tell her they were ready to go.

I was glad Sakura chose that moment to look away as well.

Because I was sure..

That at that moment..

Uchiha Sasuke, who'd learned to wear a mask and keep his emotions hidden, lost it.

Because at that moment, the only things that could've been seen in my eyes were

Pain.

Sadness.

Regret.

Longing.

Love.

And if that weren't enough, then the tear that rolled down my cheek the minute I bowed my head, would be.

Because I was Uchiha Sasuke.

And I was only human.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it, although as I said, it wasn't exactly a happily ever after. I'm thinking of a sequel, but that will probably come after I finish my other stories. Again, thank you for reading this oneshot. My love goes with you.:)

Reviews will be appreciated.

Love,  
Kaze no Shoujo


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